How To Stop Negative Self-Talk Right Now
The biggest thing standing in the way of your success is usually you. Think about it. Human beings overcome all kinds of odds – homelessness, loss of jobs, loss of loved ones, violence and abuse. People overcome them all and make a name for themselves. The biggest reason they can do so is that they do not let negative self-talk get to them.
Maybe you are going through a difficult time in your life. Maybe you lost a job or a loved one. Maybe you have no idea how to put food on the table tonight. Or how to send your children to school. Maybe you are suffering from depression, or anxiety, or both. It is easy to sink into a spiral, to keep saying negative things to yourself. But negative self-talk makes anxiety and depression worse.
It will only make sure that your stress levels are rising, and your self-esteem is falling. It is going to keep you stuck in your state of hopelessness. Therefore, we are going to work on how to stop all that negative self-talk right now!
Keep track of your thoughts
It is not possible to always think positive thoughts. A more realistic approach is to accept your negative self-talk as just that – irrational words you are telling yourself. These words do not define you. They do not define your worth. Notice the things you are telling yourself and keep a record. When you are in a better state of mind,
It does not have to be real just because you are thinking about it. This one is a meditation technique – let your thoughts flow like clouds. So, when you think, “I am not cut out of this”. Don’t believe that statement right away. Don’t judge yourself for having the thought either. Simply notice it appear, go “huh, that’s interesting”, and let the thought pass.
Speak to yourself as you would speak to your best friend
Would you call your best friend a fat cow? Then do not call yourself that either. This is a really cool trick to be kind to yourself. Whenever you catch yourself thinking self-disparaging thoughts, ask yourself – will I ever say to my best friend to their face? If your answer is no, then you are not allowed to say it to you either. Because we need to be our own best friends to help us reach the best version of ourselves.
List the things you are grateful for
Yes, this one is a little cliché. But I swear it works! Listing the things that I already have has always made me feel better. You can do it as a part of your journaling practise, or your meditation practice. I would absolutely recommend doing this every single day. But if you are not used to that, I suggest making a list every week. And when you find your own thoughts attacking you, pull out these lists and read through them. Works like magic. And do not simply read through without feeling the words. For example, if you are grateful for your home, then think about the comforts your home provides you. Feel them. Feel how your bed supports your tired body. How your kitchen helps you feed your family.
Another cliché. Personally, this one does not always work for me. It is more of a hit or miss. But I have met people who are huge fans. So, try it out and test if it works for you. Or you could take it one step further, and ask yourself lofty questions.
Yet another cliché that I absolutely swear by. I have collated a list of go-to meditation tracks for my different moods and needs. For daily guided meditation practice, the six phase by Vishen Lakhiani is my favourite. If you would like the list, leave your email in the comments, and I will send it to you. You can find them all for free on YouTube.
Take a deep breath. Breathe in and notice that you are okay. Right at this moment, if you are not dying, if the world is not literally crumbling around you, you are okay. You are alive at this moment. And since you get to live through another day, you get to hope. You get to change the direction of your life. You have the steering wheel.
Ask for help
If none of the steps above work, ask for help. It could be professional help, or it could be talking to a loved one. When it is too difficult to be objective and see the good in ourselves or our situations, turn to someone else’s perspective.
Remember, you are way more resilient and more powerful than you think. Do not let some thought pattern get in the way of your awesomeness.
See you next week!